Ivan Rebelsmasher

From Emperor's Hammer Encyclopaedia Imperia


Ivan Rebelsmasher is a NPC of the MC-90 Renegade. They were created by Master as part of the Find a WC for Wing XXII competition.

Background[edit]

Marital Status[edit]

Unmarried. Being an asexual being and anatomically equivalent to a Ken doll, Ivan sees no purpose in engaging in the human institution of marriage but is a fair believer in platonic relationships and comradery.

Family[edit]

Very little is known about Ivan’s progenitor and any possible siblings. Due to their unique breeding habits BBMB are extremely rare across the galaxy.

When the time comes to spawn, the beard of the Big Bearded Mountain Being will fall off. Semi-sentient it will find a dark place to hide where it will nest. Always hungry it will devour any nearby prey that it can trap, ambush or surprise that fits within its hairy maw. Once it reaches it critical point it creates a chrysalis where it gestates into a larger being extremely similar too its parent. This process can take only a few days or sometimes decades, each event is slightly different.

Social Status[edit]

Well-to-do. Despises 'high society' but plays the part well.

Well-liked by the Admiralty as he is seen as an exceptional officer who follows orders despite Ivan’s rather unorthodox way of thinking and following said orders.

Significant events of their youth[edit]

Without any parental figures to guide it, the Big Bearded Mountain Being's early life is fraught with danger, constant threats, and incessant itching. From the moment it emerges from its chrysalis, until it reaches adulthood, the BBMB must constantly feed and grow in order to survive.

Each young BBMB, referred to as "spawn," grows at a unique pace, but bears a resemblance to a pre-pubescent human child before puberty (with the addition of body hair). They will stay in this stage until their first beard emerges, signifying their transition into adulthood.

Significant events of their adulthood[edit]

Once the BBMB grows a beard of sufficient length it is deemed an adult in the eyes of the species.

General alignment and attitude[edit]

Ivan is known to be a reliable and well-liked team member who can be trusted in times of crisis, often seen as way too honourable and respectable for this business. Despite that, Ivan has a wicked sense of humour and is known as someone not to cross or worse, betray.

Previous occupations[edit]

  • Pirate
  • Smuggler
  • Always a Rebel Smasher!

Hobbies[edit]

  • Knitting
  • Beards
  • Smashing Rebel Scum!

Tragedies in their life[edit]

The BBMB doesn’t see life’s challenges and setbacks in life as ‘Tragedies’. Instead, it sees them as valuable lessons and opportunities to grow and adapt.

Phobias and allergies[edit]

  • The BS of the Rebel machine.
  • Has terrible hay fever one day a year, every year, on the same day.
  • Unimpressed by sock puppets.

Their view of the Empire and the Emperor's Hammer[edit]

At some point, Ivan was living on the backwater world of Kataara II. Imperial Occupied, the population was happy for the most part and uninterested in galactic affairs.

Then the Rebel Alliance arrived - spreading their message of freedom.

Despite best efforts, it was the impressionable youth who were the first to enlist, as they always are. Attempting to find purpose and rage against something they do not truly understand. The Imperial garrison swiftly and effectively crushed the uprising, making an example of all those involved through public executions. After this display of force, life returned to normal for the rest of the population.

Months later the Rebel Alliance once again tried to sell their message of freedom, the population unwilling to annoy their Imperial overlords, quite happy with their world (until the previous nastiness which was ultimately caused by the Rebels) wanted no part in their madness.

The Rebels refusing to give up, the Imperials watching closely, the situation was very tense. One spark would set things off… and they did.

Ivan sat in a nondescript cantina, sipping on a rather tasty drink as rowdy members of the Rebel Alliance began making offensive remarks. They insulted everyone they could think of before turning their attention to the locals. When they targeted Ivan, it proved to be their fatal mistake.

By the end of short but extremely impressive melee the entire squad of Rebel’s had been grievously injured and Ivan would be known as "Rebelsmasher" to the end of days.

Their reason for enlisting in the Emperor's Hammer[edit]

It wasn’t until after the Battle of Endor that Ivan joined the Empire and EH. After the Empire had been defeated at Endor, Ivan had been wandering the galaxy aimlessly. Displeased with the Rebels victory and increasing presence in the galaxy Ivan had been looking for a purpose.

Stumbling across the EH pummelling the Rebels in the Minos Cluster inspired Ivan into joining and dedicate their life to further Rebel Smashing.

A surprisingly exceptional pilot Ivan joined Infiltrator Wing, serving on both the MC-90 Neo and MC-90 Warspite as a FM and later Commander of Black Squadron and Phoenix Squadron.

At 14ABY Ivan had to take a leave of absence to resolve a personal matter and upon their return in 31ABY Ivan found the beloved IW a shadow of its former self.

After participating in a drinking competition and having a profound conversation with the notorious General Master and they had both recovered (and Master had undergone the standard disapproval talk with WC Elara), Ivan had a newfound purpose in life.

He sought an audience with the mighty VA Locke Setzer, recently promoted BGCOM of Battlegroup III and unofficial IWCOM and respectfully requested to be given the illustrious role of Wing Commander for Wing XXII onboard the MC-90 Renegade.

Although impressed, Locke decided to defer the decision-making to Wing X's WC, Denys Elara. Elara had been acting as WC for Wing XXII until a permanent replacement could be found and had reach the end of her rope by fulfilling both roles and trying to stay one step ahead of GN Master’s madness.

As a test, Elara tasked Ivan with keeping GN Master out of any trouble during VA Locke’s promotion celebration scheduled to take place in two days’ time. Good to one’s word, the celebration went off without any issues and Master was on surprisingly good behaviour.

Notable Features[edit]

It is said on some worlds they sing the tale of "The Rebelsmasher". Perhaps one day these tales will be proven.

Notable Quotes[edit]

"Long live the Empire."