Difference between revisions of "User:Andr3"
From Emperor's Hammer Encyclopaedia Imperia
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| − | The exact whereabouts of LT andr3 are unknown. That might be in part because it (we don't know what it is) does not seem to talk. Though it is rumored it occasionally telepathically communicates with decorative plants in the cantina and the giant worm said to be living in ISD Hammer's trash compactor. Also, it posts random nonsense on the destroyer's subnet Discord.
| + | see [[Andr3]] |
| − | Actually, it is not even known if "andr3" is indeed the lieutenant’s real name or simply some gibberish the 42 standard year old child hammered onto the keyboard when the registration officer demanded: "Enter your name, pilot!"
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| − | How such a shady little green force-sensitive non-human character was able sign up for a fascist organization such as the imperial navy and even make it onto the roster of a squadron assigned to one of the most prestigious and renowned star destroyers is beyond comprehension. Jedi mind tricks might have played a role.
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| − | Trivia - as far as trivia goes its actual truth content is always hard to determine. But the following facts about andr3 just seem to be too plausible not to be true:
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| − | * At a mere 30 cm in hight andr3 can neither reach pedals nor yoke of the star fighters it flies. It rather seems to move controls telekinetically which does induce some mental strain during combat. After successfully completing a training mission the tiny critter almost caused a disaster by falling asleep behind the wheel, drooling all over the place and nearly crashing a TIE Bomber loaded with live heavy rockets into M/FRG Osprey.
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| − | * Maintenance crews are not too fond of this little green bugger not only because they have to sweep up saliva, snot and the occasional diaper filled with baby-poo, but also because it force-unscrews all the knobs, nuts and bolts of the crafts it is assigned to. That is said to be the reason for the large amounts of Loctite that the navy have recently procured. A common expression heard on the flight deck is: "This North Pangalin swamp rat causes more damage to the fighters than them pesky Rebels do!". In fact, many round knobs that had miraculously disappeared later resurfaced in andr3's locker. If this kind of odd-ball behavior will ever promote it to higher military ranks remains to be seen. Not if the maintenance crews have any say in it.
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| − | * Admiral Harkov once joked about the green infant as being "the Emperor's pet". If that statement eventually contributed to the late Admiral's demise is classified.
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| − | * andr3 seems to be the only navy pilot that gets by with starting a food fight with the roomba cleaning bot in Hammer’s cantina and with wearing an old potato sack as a uniform. That in itself is widely considered a very odd circumstance, since potatoes have not even evolved in this galaxy.
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Revision as of 23:06, 1 August 2021
